Heard It In A Makin’ Love Song . . .
Our lovely guest-poster Ben Enoch talks with the equally-lovely Christy Anderson about what music is good and bad in the bedroom (my take on the subject can be found over here). Christy records music under the name ‘Like Pulling Teeth’. You can listen to her songs over at her Myspace page. Ben’s non-musical ramblings can be found at his blog, The Passing Buzzed.
Once upon a time, there were rich monarchs who could request musicians to play for them and then retreat to the boudoir for what was likely a love-or-die relationship with the King. Closer to our time, the age of radio lent parents the ability to cover their sounds from the fragile minds of their young children, who they would probably never tell about the birds and the bees. After the age of the record player, there came the novel idea of having sex to the tune of music that the lovers actually chose. No more of the big band being interrupted by Gangbusters when the next show started. While the idea of copulation to talk radio is an entirely different avenue that I would like to think about at another time, I am trying to focus on the music I and other people have intentionally made love to.
First I will mention that I really haven’t particularly tried to make a sexual playlist. Admittedly a panderer to my partner’s comfort, I have never refused sex due to the music being played, nor suggested it be changed during to process. There are certain boundaries I will hold my integrity and refuse sex over. For example, Nickleback is one – Britney Spears is not.
I think men, including myself, will want to know what women enjoy to hear, in the first place. Especially since what most fellas really want is to impress the lady they are with in all ways – not just song selection – it would be nice to get a view into the way they work. Coincidentally, I just had a musically cultured woman – who just happens to be a friend of mine – tell me recently that she has given thought to songs that are conducive to the bedroom. She was nice enough to agree to have a discussion with me about the goods and bads of the bedroom melodies.
1. One of the first times I had sex, it was to the Black Crowes. I equate that awkward 30 minutes of me trying not to finish with “Remedy” from The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion and with my heart beating really fast out of fear, clumsy aim for the appropriate fit, a silly grin and a shaking of the head that reads “you goofy son of a bitch”. Would you consider having sex while The Black Crowes were playing?
Yes I would consider this, but “Remedy?”. This song is totally unsexy. How about “Thorn In My Pride” or even “She Talks to Angels”. Now, considering this album is way old, if some dude slipped this on present day, while trying to get busy with me I’d start re-thinking the idea all together. But back in the day, I’d have tolerated it.
2. Really drunk in high school, I had near-violent passion to the tune of “In The Evening” by Led Zeppelin and I remember it as a great time, however recreational without a hint of the so called “love” part. It was mostly meaningless drunk sex, but I remember it fondly. If your lover threw on In Through The Out Door would that be a good thing, bad thing, or would you be indifferent?
Oh my. Any song title by any band, any time, anywhere, from an album called In Through The Out Door is sending me packing (ooo!!). Meaningless drunk sex, (preferably with a semi or long term partner; one night stands are cheap unless it’s with like an old friend and you finally gave in – that could be hot) can be awesomely intense and, when you are that drunk and love mad, you have a much broader range of songs to chose from. I would totally tolerate some old ZZ Top or Motorhead. But in general, even when heavily intoxicated, I like something slow and rhythmic like one of my all time favorite make out songs “Cortez the Killer” by Neil Young. It’s relaxing, familiar and allows you to move with the music. It’s also long. Long is good.
3. Once I snuck away at a party and I specifically remember loud voices screaming party talk, trying to be heard above “Toxic” by Britney Spears which was playing a maximum volume. I don’t think the sex was anything worth remembering, but it is my favorite Britney song, hands down.
Sneak away party sex is the best. Whatever’s playing makes it that much better. Good or bad. It’s cheap and dirty and you usually don’t have control over the music at someone else’s bash anyhow so who cares what’s playing? It’s party sex! Yes!
4. There is an ex-girlfriend I had who, when really intoxicated, would interrupt mid-kiss to run and put on “The Hand That Rocks The Cradle”. I have carried a solid hatred for The Smiths and Morrissey for years and she knew that. I never knew if it was passive-aggressive torture or if she was just too hammered to remember. It goes to show my love of loving surpasses my hatred of Steven Morrissey -which is vast. It happened so many times that at this point, when I hear “Hand In Glove” start, I now associate the whiny ramblings of an asexual, narcissistic crybaby with sex. Is that fucked up or what?
I cannot believe that anyone can hate The Smiths but okay. The Queen is Dead is all around a great album to makeout/do it to. Alot for me may be the nostalgia associated with it. It was a big deal when I was in high school and I did alot of making out with this in the background. It has some choice hits for such occasions, I think! “There is a Light That Never Goes Out” is a beautiful song and who cares what he’s blabbing about but it’s pretty and sounds enough like a love song for me to enjoy locking lips to it over and over again. Some other of my top favorites to make out to, which also I highly associate with high school smooching sessions, are My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless (Wow!) and Jane’s Addiction’s Nothing’s Shocking. Mainly “Summertime Rolls”. I think I’ve made out to that song alone for nearly eight straight hours in my ex’s silver Honda Accord. It’s was a good one, but I don’t care about it anymore. Mazzy Star “Fade Into You”; great choice. Unrelated to these high school favorites would be my musical God, Brian Eno, and just damned near anything he’s ever done. Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy) , Another Green World and Discreet Music are amazing in, out, above and beyond the bedroom. Ass-kicking, way before it’s time, beautiful stuff. And Murray Street by Sonic Youth. This album as a whole is one of my favorites ever to do it to. “Sympathy for the Strawberry” is a long, twangy, metallic, pulsing, pretty song and lends so sweetly to some passionate moments.
5. A specific morning comes to mind, where after being up all night, swimming, and partying, finally came the bedroom with the sunlight beaming in bright. What followed was something that is not uncommon but it’s also something that isn’t practiced with regularity by most people and I will leave that to the perverted imagination of the reader to guess. There was a mixed CD playing and I remember “God Help Me” by The Jesus and Mary Chain (The song where Shane MacGowan was their guest singer) and I remember thinking that it was the perfect song at the time but I can’t decide if it was just that day. Do you think “God Help Me” is a good sex song, or The Jesus and Mary Chain in general?
Yes, I absolutely think they are great band to listen to while having sex. I am a sucker for that hollow eighties sound and alot of good makeout music is ambient or kind of far-off sounding. Not sure how to explain it but for instance, Bauhaus, Joy Division, Love and Rockets, Echo; all these touch me. While I’m touching you.
6. While I’ve never liked the idea of actually trying to have sex to those obvious sex songs, like “Let’s Get It On” or the entire Barry White collection, I find 60’s Soul to be apropos. I have enjoyed loving to Otis Redding, Smokey Robinson, even The Ronettes on one occasion. I would even go so far as to say soul music might be a safety area for someone who doesn’t know what they want to make love to. I notice most of the songs have a sad nature to them. I have made out to “Pain In My Heart” more than once. Why do you suppose people like loving to sad songs?
Most songs are love songs. Or to be more concise, heartache songs. Most songs I dig in general are about pain of loving, losing etc. Not so much happy pleasant stuff. Everyone in existence can relate to heartache. The most beautiful songs/art come from misery. Now I do not like the idea of throwing on the obvious stuff like Marvin Gaye, who beat his women and had impotency issues. Or Barry White because all I could possibly do is laugh if his voice was bellowing from the turntable while I’m trying to concentrate and have an orgasm. Here’s a good example of a bad song choice: pretty drunk, an ex throws on Red Hot Chili Peppers, can’t remember which one, (Uplift MoFo Party Plan?) anyway, there is a song on there and the chorus says something really really special and tender like “I want to party on your ***** baby, I want to party want to party on yo’ *****.” Okay, well I had never done this before but had to just stop and say “wtf? turn that off please”, and had he not been a long term boyfriend I would have been terrified and disgusted and probably bolted from the back of the car (classy, huh? well, I was in the 12th grade.) Needless to say, this was a total turn off in a major way.
7. There is a tired joke that I have heard many times that says Miles Davis inadvertently killed people. Something about how people died when they tried to have sex to Bitches Brew. I’m not saying it quite right but it was never funny at all in the first place. I have never had sex to jazz. What are your thoughts on jazz in relation to the bedroom?
FYI Bitches Brew is a hard ass name for an album. And I am intrigued and now must get a copy and immediately listen to it while getting it on. Wow. Okay, I don’t like a lot of jazz so I’m mostly out on this one. If you are talking like Chuck Mangione or David Sanborn or something, then HELL no. Might as well put on the damned Eagles. Maybe a little Alice Coltrane or Duke Ellington or Oscar Peterson. I think jazz could work for sure. It’s mellow and non-intrusive since it generally is instrumental. Some of that wild stuff could make for some passionate love-making. I give jazz a thumbs up in the bedroom.
8. I was having a chat with an early-twenties conservatory student here in Cincinnati about what she likes to listen to in the moment and she said Andre Segovia, the classical guitarist. The only classical music I have even made love to is Erik Satie. Most of the other classical style songs I have are too grandiose for the situation. They sound like the soundtrack to the invasion of a village instead of the bedroom in most cases, at least the stuff I like. Some of Chopin’s nocturnes seem really sweet, so maybe I’ll try those someday in a real making-love fashion. Is there any classical music you would recommend for lovers?
I love classical music. But like most types of music, there is beautiful, original pieces/composers and then a whole bunch of boring crap. Chopin is a great choice. Beethoven and Bach would also be ideal. Mozart is my favorite but his pieces may be to busy for the bed. The other guys are mellow and have some pieces with a slower more melancholy feel to them. Classical, like jazz, has the whole instrumental thing going. I think it’s nice to throw some in there but don’t make it a constant thing in the bedroom. Next you’ll be trying to woo your girl with Garrison Keillor on NPR. Some Lake Wobegon Days crap oozing like soft serve from your Bose. Not sexy.
9. I have never hooked up to Kris Kristofferson’s “Help Me Make It Through The Night” but I have thought about hooking up while listening to it. The same goes for Ronnie Milsap’s “Daydreams About Night Things”. I have certainly listened to Patsy Cline and Willie Nelson while doing what The Dixie Chicks referred to as “mattress dancin’”. I’ve listened to Townes Van Zandt, which is perfect on some songs like “I’ll Be Here In The Morning”. Out of those acts, who would you think are the best? And also is there any country music that turns you on?
“Stardust” would be very acceptable along with some others of Willie’s. Townes as well. In general, no, not caring about country much when I want to make it. But oddly there are some alt-country songs I can think of that are pretty sweet like maybe some M. Ward or Palace Bros. I’m bad with labeling but you know what I’m getting at; modern bands that have a southern/country edge with some mellowness in there. I like that. Yee-ha! I’ll throw in here that on a very personal level, and he has a southern, good old boy thing going on but not country, none-the-less, you can almost never ever go wrong with Bruce Springsteen. The River is an excellent choice. The album and that song in particular are haunting and sensual and hell, I just f****** love Bruce. “Drive All Night” is a great love song although it loses points for being featured in a love-making scene in “Copland” starring Sylvester Stallone. That really, really …disturbed me, as both a music lover and a fan of the cinema. But throw on “Atlantic City” press repeat, and I am a happy woman until we are all said and done!
10. I’m going to throw out some random artists. Take these artists and put them in order according to best to worst, for us fellas trying to set the mood: Van Morrison, Cat Power, Sade, Low, Jimi Hendrix, Metallica, James Brown, U2, Bob Marley, and The Grateful Dead.
1. Jimi
2. Van Morrison
3. Metallica
4. U2
5. Bob Marley
6. Low
7. Cat Power
8. The Dead
9. Sade (wow i just remembered “This is no ordinary love”! It’s a pretty good song for the doin’.)
10. James Brown
And finally, would irony be accepted in the bedroom? I have wondered about songs like “Feel Like Makin’ Love” and “I Love You” by Vanilla Ice. Or maybe something funny like Flight of the Conchords. Would you transact business to “Business Time”?
This could indeed be fun. But reserve the antics for a long-term partner or someone you feel pretty comfy with. You can laugh about it and ease into making the love. Wait, is that Bad Company? No, man. Just….no.
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I have to say I made a big mistake leaving out Tone Loc. "Wild Thing" not only is about sex,it has a great rhythm to move with. Not to mention a sample of Van Halen's "Jaime's Cryin'" to make it nearly perfect.