Kid Rock Buys Me A Beer
It happened on Saturday. Myself and several friends had gone over to the “legendary Nashville shithole” (in the words of Pitchfork), Springwater, in order to catch a set from one of our favorite local bands, Lone Official. A lot of this is a bit of a dreamy blur now (dreamy blur = 7 beers), but I’m fairly certain that the hubbub started shortly after Lone Official had finished their set. In the middle of a conversation amongst my friends, another friend walked over and said, “Kid Rock is here.”
There were shared looks of bemusement, followed by a couple we’re-too-hip-for-Kid-Rock-so-who-cares shrugs.
“And he’s buying everyone beer.”
That changed everything.
We went up to the bar – first to confirm that there was free beer, and then to collect our prize. As I grabbed my fresh, free, icy PBR, I looked over to the end of the bar. Sure enough, there he was, accompanied by the Rich half of Big And Rich, a bodyguard, and several other hangers-ons.
Since he wasn’t too far away, I turned towards him, made eye contact, raised my beer slightly, and said, “Thanks”. He nodded in acknowledgment.
That should have been it. Nothing more should have happened beyond me and my friends continuing our conversation until it was time to stumble home. My interaction with Kid Rock was one word and a nod – there was no reason for it to go beyond that.
But I was wrong. After turning back over to my friend and resuming our conversation, I heard a voice behind me.
“Hey man.”
I turned around. Kid Rock was addressing me.
“Hey man, come here.”
With no clue what to expect, I made my way past his bodyguard. I was now face-to-face with him.
He put his arm around my shoulder and took me aside. It was just me and Kid Rock, sharing a beer. I still had no idea why he called me over, why he picked me (!) out of all the other people at the bar.
With a weird smile not too different from the one in the above picture, he leaned in towards me. Soon, his mouth – which has been used to go down on Pamela-freakin’-Anderson in the past – was right by my ear. I must admit that I was pretty nervous, unsure as to what that mouth was going to do.
My nerves were eased, though, when he gently whispered the following:
“BAWITDABA DA BANG A DANG DIGGY DIGGY DIGGY SAID THE BOOGY SAID UP JUMP THE BOOGY!”
It was the best Saturday ever.
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